hands.

been a few days. the meds are… adjusting. gave me hightened anxiety at first, but that seems to be lessening each day. i was very irritable and sleepy. still sleepy but the irritablility is also fading. i’m exhausted all day but i’m still finding it hard to sleep. fucking anxiety wont stop for anything. got a bit of restless hands. they seem to always need to be moving. i think thats the meds too.

got a bit overwhelmed. i think it’s what pushed me into a spiral. i’m a hard worker, i over work, but i’ve never done so for myself. i can be perfect and diligent for other people, but when it comes to myself i’m never good enough. i’m making strides with my business, even though we haven’t sold anything yet, i’m still getting out there, teaching classes, and making stock. sometimes i find myself not living up to my own standards. my jewelry isnt good enough. my pictures arent good enough. i’m failing and i should be doing something much more productive. but i had sort of a reality check when my business partner, and soon to be mother in law, admited to me that she was losing faith in her own jewelry. i don’t even understand that. she makes some of the most unique and beautiful pieces i’ve come across. i adore her stuff which is why i was excited to work with her. in fact her stuff gets viewed far more than mine. it made me realize that maybe i should ease up on myself, since i may have a skewed outlook. so i’ll keep on trudging. networking, photographing,and making. if it’s healthy and makes me happy it can’t be too bad to continue.